Of being sleepy and dizzy

I was telling Mr. FullCup last night that I blogged about being dizzy. We came to the conclusion I probably should have read it. But I think instead I’ll read it when I’m not dizzy.

The dizziness is caused by a virus so I can safely mark brain tumor off my list of maladies. And what a relief that is. I was given some medication Antivert to combat the dizziness. My doctor told me one of the small side effects of antivert is it might make me a little dizzy. Which to me is code for, “you’ll take one dose and wake up next Christmas.”

Not that he implied that, not at all. That is what my brain heard. Because you see Tylenol knocks me out cold.  A few years ago I was tired of constantly dealing with allergies, because I’ve been dealing with them all my life. To combat the allergies I would take some OTC children’s non-drowsy Zyrtec.

It knocked me out for a week.  With medication I’ve learned one thing, if it say non-drowsy I’ll be out cold for at least 7 days. If it says a side-effect is drowsiness, I’ll be out for months.

So far with the medication, and I’ve only taken two doses, I’ve become convinced it makes you sleepy so you sleep and forget about being dizzy.

Last night before it knocked me out I was still experiencing dizziness, I just didn’t care. I did sleep like a rock last night though, which really isn’t any different than normal. I also slept a long time.

I’ve been up now for about an hour…and I’m thinking it’s nap time.

Forgiveness

A few evenings ago Mr. FullCup and I were chatting about confession. I had read 1 John 1:9 (If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness) and I popped the question “Do you think it means just to God or does that mean to others as well?”

We talked about it and how no one confesses their sin to another person anymore. I honestly can’t say if people still confess their sin to God or not. But I certainly hope so.

I told Mr. FullCup that I hoped it just meant to confess to God and not others because I don’t want to confess to anyone with flesh on. Not because I am afraid they won’t like me, or will think less of me.

I don’t want to because I don’t want to be the only one confessing sin. I don’t want to tell someone, “Man! I’m so guilt-ridden over stealing that pack of Juciy Fruit last week at Target.” (I didn’t!) Or, “I am really struggling with thoughts I should have.” Or gossip. Or anger. Or bitterness. Or….Or….Or…. .

I want there to be some sort of reciprocal confession. Not that we are trying to prove how much worse we are than the other person, but just know they have faults too. I know we all know intellectually that everyone sins, we all fail. But if no one is talking about it, if no one is being real, it is all too easy to feel, which leads to thinking, which leads to believing, that we are the only one.

This led to a discussion about forgiveness and how our asking God for forgiveness after we confess is not mentioned. We aren’t told, “If you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness, He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins….”.  He is faithful to forgive without our asking.  We don’t have to ask for His repeated forgiveness.

This led to my thinking this morning. Asking for forgiveness is not mentioned in Scripture. We are told to forgive. We aren’t told to ask forgiveness from God or from others. We are told to confess and forgive.

I’m still pondering and studying the whole issue and I might someday come and share some truths I’ve learned, or confess that I was way off base. But for now, I’ll let you ponder on it too. (and be sure to let me know if you have any great (or not-so great) thoughts.)

Thoughtful Thursday

and Friday’s Food.

Last night was our church’ AWANA awards program. It was a little happy and a little sad. Happy because well it’s always a happy thing to get awards and watch your children be recognized for their hard work. Sad because my 11 year old is moving up to Trek. That is the junior high program.

She started in AWANA when she was 3. That is a lot of award programs.

Last night due to unforeseen circumstances the video our AWANA commander’s order did not make it in time for the program. In fact even now it is still in Maryland. I can’t help but think God held it up as only God can do because He had other plans.

You see this week has been rather trying, not only for the FullCup family but for our entire church body. The son of one of our members was killed in a car accident this week and we are all reeling. It is true that when one hurts, we all hurt. I love that about my church family.

This was the chosen devotional. Please watch to the end.

Gotta Get UP!

Mr. FullCup gets up every morning at a very obscene hour. Honestly. There are some numbers on the clock you should only see once a day.

Take 5 o’clock for example. One should only see one 5 o’clock a day. To see it more than that is just wrong.  Just remember 6 followed by an a.m. is bad, 5 followed by an a.m. is horrible.

Early this morning I heard him get up, walk around and come back to bed. The fact that I heard anything is unusual as I sleep like the dead.

Yeah. It’s both a blessing and a curse at times.

A few hours later I woke with a start realizing I hadn’t heard him get up again. I checked the clock at it was 5:49. OH NO!! He had overslept.

I flip over and start to frantically shake Mr. FullCup hollering in a whisper that he was late and needed to get up.  When shaking alone wasn’t working, I started using my feet to kick him awake too.

Imagine my horror as my feet never collided with him at all. That’s when I realized he wasn’t asleep, he was dead.

Someone had broken into our house last night and sawed his lower half off and left his upper body in bed. How they managed to get past the alarm system without the police coming was a mystery to me.

I was still shaking him and just getting into a really good cry when I realized I wasn’t shaking him at all.

Oh great! The perps had not only cut him in two, taken his lower half; they also made out with his upper body too.

And then I realized, as I heard him close the bathroom door, I was frantically shaking his pillow.

And that is the last time I read the end of Hebrews 11 before bed.

(Incidentally all of this is mostly true. I might have embellished a little bit…but not much.)

Weeks 7-8

Last week I was out of town and was just preparing to post our weekly update of life with Catherin when the internet went out.  I kept meaning to get it done this week and life happened at break neck speed at my house and I didn’t get it done.  So I’m combining weeks 7 and 8.

We are almost halfway through our 4 months. In some ways it seems like it can’t possibly be half done already and in other ways the mere thought of 2 more months makes us all want to run screaming down the street.

I am learning things about myself and not all of them are good. I’m realizing others things as well. I’m realizing even when Catherin is being nice, it isn’t long and she is back to her rude self. (In case you are wondering, she does indeed know what the word “rude” means, and often uses it to her own advantage. “So and so is very rude!” “DO NOT DO THAT!! I DO NOT LIKE IT!! IT IS RUDE!!”) Often times this change happens so fast if you’re not ready you’re liable to get whiplash.

I find myself tense from 4pm until 8am. Catherin gets home from school at 4 and we drop her off for school a little before 8.  As soon as I see her walk across the porch, I am immediately tense.  I hate that. I’m finding that I find it easier to just be grumpy, tense and “on guard” when she is home. It’s self protection for me. If I expect her to be rude and break rules, I can’t and won’t be bothered/hurt when she does.

Not a good way to live.

This week I had an evening with some friends and when I arrived home, Mr. FullCup asked if the next morning I would ask Catherin’s literature teacher about a book report Catherin had to do. I thought it was odd that she would be working on a book report since she wasn’t reading any books. She claims to not be able to read English. But I don’t buy it. She reads it every day in school.

Mr. FullCup told me he wanted to know the criterion/guidelines for the report as she was doing it on vampires. I was shocked. I know I shouldn’t have been but I was. I do not want anything to do with vampires in my house.

The next morning before school I thought to check the online history for the browser Catherin uses.  She is supposed to use only English. I know there are those who think it incredibly cruel and hard on the students but they are here for one reason, to learn English. I had allowed her to use the internet in Chinese earlier when I wasn’t sure how proficient she was in English. However, after learning about inappropriate conversations she was having, I wanted to know what she was looking at online and we made the rule of only English on the computer too.  I found that she had broken this rule every day since we made the rule. And she had been lying about it.

I confronted her on this and she has lost computer privileges for one week. If she has homework she needs to use the computer for, she will have to do the old fashioned way or find a different computer.  I also told her no vampires.
“Why?”
“Because I think they are evil and of the devil.”
“It’s just a book!!!!!!” Very angry face.
“I don’t care.”

I’m not exactly sure how she will finish the book report. I did talk to the teacher and the assignment was one she had given her students before the Chinese students came. The Chinese teacher gave the assignment to Catherin and it is on a book she already read. I do know there isn’t much done and we won’t allow her to research it at home.

I know vampires are accepted as “cute” by many Christians. I know The Vampire Diaries are very popular as is Twilight. With all due respect, if you choose to read and enjoy those books/movies that is your choice. It is my choice to not and not allow them in my home. I have young children and they are my first responsibility. There is never anything good that can, will or does come from vampires.

We are following the E100 Bible reading program with our church and one of the questions in the devotional was “If you could ask God for one thing and He would give it to you, what would you ask for?” Catherin said she would ask for an ipod touch. When asked why, she was quick to respond, “So I could get on the internet!” I told her probably not in China. She looked at me and rudely said, “Not in China! Here. At home.” I sadly shook my head and said “not in my home.”

For one thing I don’t think an 11 year old needs an ipod touch, I don’t think they needed carte blanche access to the internet. I know we have high speed wireless and there is always the possibility that our girls will want to go places they shouldn’t, but right now they are happy with the places they are allowed to go. And will ask if they can go to another website. For another thing, if I can’t trust her with my own computer, I can’t trust her with my high speed internet. For the last thing, if I’m not going to allow my own flesh and blood children to have an ipod touch, I’m not going to allow my Chinese daughter to have one either.

Catherin can tell you the gospel. She can tell you we’ve all sinned, we can’t go to heaven on our own. She can tell you no one will ever be good enough to go to heaven. She knows Jesus is the only way to heaven, and one has to accept His blood sacrifice for their sins.

She just doesn’t care.

 

第6周

This is the end of week 6. In some ways it is hard to believe we’ve had Catherin with us for only 6 weeks. Some days it feels every bit as much as 8 or 12 weeks and other times it feels like it has only been couple.

We are falling into a routine of sorts during the week. The weekends still seem somewhat odd. I think part of it is Catherin doesn’t play anything. Our girls will play Barbies, or puzzles or something outside. And Catherin sits. She does like to play cards but she has been rude and/or cheated enough that neither girl really wants to play with her much. I can’t say I blame them.  She taught them one game and constantly changed the rules so she would win every game.

Our girls also read a lot. Catherin claims to not be able to read American English. Which is not true at all. If she couldn’t read English she wouldn’t be here and wouldn’t be able to do anything in school. Catherin did bring two books but I’m sure she has read them already.

All the Chinese students are to speak only English, since they are here to learn it. Catherin and all the other students refuse to do that. They all know the rule that was made by the organization that sent the children.  Some children have been very rude and snapped at their host parents, “It’s after school!” but really that doesn’t matter. The Chinese sponsors have told both the host families and the children it is to be only English.

In light of this we have the consequence of washing dishes by hand when she speaks in Chinese. She already has one week out of 3 to wash the dishes. But for these weeks we have a dishwasher she gets to use. When she knowingly breaks the rules, she gets an extra night to wash dishes by hand. No dishwasher. I can’t say it’s been too effective.

Yesterday Mr. FullCup, Catherin and our girls went on a field trip to Denver. They went to the Denver Mint, Museum of Nature and Science, and White Fence Farm. It was a very long trip. The girls were up at 5 and didn’t get home until after midnight.

I was supposed to be out of town at a ladies retreat but that fell through. So I spent the day painting our kitchen.

We are finding we need to limit the amount of food Catherin eats. I know it seems cruel. But really. I made 2 roasts the other night and we had barely enough leftovers for 3 of us. We had to stop her after 5 helpings. I’ve heard of other families saying “no more than 3 helpings.”

We also had to institute a new rule. No rude faces, noises, or comments about what is prepared or you will go without.  She is very vocal about food she doesn’t like and her comments/faces etc are generally very rude. She will snap her teeth together while chewing (in essence chewing with her mouth open but really it goes beyond just that.) She makes rude noises and oh the looks she gives me.  Mr. FullCup and I talked about it and made the rule. When we told all three girls if they didn’t like the food that was prepared, they were free to go hungry.

I understand we all have foods we don’t like. I don’t like veggies but I eat them and I’m not rude about it.

Cheese. Cheese is a big thing in this house. We eat cheese every day. Catherin, like most Chinese, hates cheese. The first time I made something with cheese on it she told me “I love this. I love cheese!” A few days later I made homemade macaroni and cheese. You would have thought I’d sent her to the gas chambers. “I HATE cheese!!!!!!”

I haven’t made macaroni and cheese since. And when we have burritos or something with cheese, she is allowed to go without the cheese since we make those on our own at the table. I go without sour cream. She goes without cheese.

It’s funny though. She loves pizza loaded with cheese. I haven’t quite figured that one out.

Oatmeal is another thing we’ve had trouble with. She doesn’t like it. I don’t blame her. It’s not my favorite breakfast food. But since eggs are expensive and so is milk and cereal when we have been low on any of those we have oatmeal. I’m not talking plain oatmeal either. I get a couple of the jumbo boxes of instant flavored oatmeal at Sams.

In the past 6 weeks she has had it twice and both times I refused to look at her. And really twice in 6 months won’t kill anyone.

With my understanding the dislike of oatmeal also comes with the knowledge that if someone made me a bowl of oatmeal, I would eat it and make no comment about hating it. That would just be rude.

She told Ariana one day last week “I didn’t like my lunch so I did this” and pantomimed a disgusted look and throwing it in the trash. She was very pleased with herself. Until I asked if she was rude about. Of course she wasn’t. I then told her that someone had spent all morning at the school preparing that for her. I told her the school spent money buying the groceries for people to make sure she had a good lunch at school and to be rude was just not acceptable.

I find it hard to think, imagine, or believe these children have not been taught manners at all. I can’t imagine anyone would get very far being rude about things others have done for them.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m the oddball who taught her children to be polite even when they don’t like something.

 

尝试5周

We are finishing up week 5 with Catherin and while in some instances it is getting a lot easier, in others it is 100 times harder.  As with most children the more comfortable they get the more their little natures come out and you’re facing an uphill battle for your sanity.

A couple of weeks ago we were told Catherin had been having some conversations about a “mature” subject. Miss Audrey (Chinese teacher who came with Catherin) told another host mom (her child was also  involved in the conversation) and the host mom told me. I was heartsick.

The very next day in Sunday School we had the teacher separate Catherin and this other little girl because that’s what you do when your child and a friend can’t behave in class. So instead of talking and leaving the class, they wrote notes. Notes that I got from the teacher. Of course they were in Chinese. I took them to school the next day and asked Miss Betty (another Chinese teacher who came with the group) what they said. One was okay, just about the talent show and dresses the night before. The other one, all she would say was “This is bad. Very, very bad.” And she kept both notes saying she would talk to Catherin. She also suggested Catherin stay with us on Sundays.

So last week Catherin went to Sunday School with Mr. FullCup in an adult class.  We finally had a Sunday that was almost without mishap. And really the mishap was so minor as to not even be mentioned.

Monday Catherin had homework she needed the computer for. My computer was down for the count and out of commission. (It is since been revived thankyouverymuch) Mr. FullCup took her to his office at the radio station and she did her homework there.

Tuesday, Catherin told both Mr. FullCup and myself that she had no homework. I thought it a little odd since I had received an email from one of the teachers (American) about homework. I am wondering now if Catherin either really isn’t getting homework or maybe the email was for the host parents of Chinese students in that class. (The email came from the 8th grade teacher.) The email said the first two weeks were to get the students acclimated to the class structure and homework would be starting in earnest.  I will need to check and see. Catherin is not in the 8th grade class so you can see my confusion.

Wednesday Ariana tells Catherin we have AWANA that night. “I don’t like AWANA!” She whined and yelled repeatedly. Not long after she comes out to me and asks if we are going anywhere that night. “Yes, Catherin, we have AWANA.”
“But I can’t go. I have homework from yesterday.”
Apparently she had homework on Tuesday. Since she didn’t do it on Tuesday, claiming she had no homework she thought she would it Wednesday to get out of AWANA. Oh and did I mention she had told both Mr. FullCup and myself on Wednesday afternoon she had no homework? Yeah.  Needless to say we didn’t cancel our plans for the evening. Catherin went to school with homework that was undone.

Thursday was a crazy day. After we dropped Catherin off at school the girls and I headed on a roadtrip to Sams. We spent the morning traveling and shopping. Catherin had piano lessons at 5:30 and at 6 we had a banquet for Mr. FullCup’s work. It was a good thing there wasn’t school on Friday since we didn’t get home from that until 10.

Friday we all slept in. Well all except Mr. FullCup who still had to be at work at 7am.  We took a trip to Target and then to the radio station for lunch…leftovers from the banquet. Yum!!

That was the highlight of my Friday. You know, teenagers have the reputation of thinking their parents are rather ignorant? Catherin has that attitude already and she’s only 11.

“Oh! What is that?”
“That is a rabbit.”
“Oh! I love it.” Pause “That is not a rabbit.”
“Yes, Catherin, that is a rabbit.”
“No, it is NOT a rabbit. It’s too big.”
“Catherin, it is a rabbit.”
“NO IT IS NOT A RABBIT!”
At that point I called Mr. FullCup from the back of the house to tell Catherin it was indeed a rabbit. Funny. She believed him.

I am learning there are basically three character traits that can drive me from cool and collected to angry-angry in 0.003 seconds flat. Lying. Rude. And a “know-it-all” attitude.

What is very sad is Catherin has all of these character traits in spades. You might want to step up the prayers for me. And for her.

Now we’re screaming into 第6周 (week 6)

Communicate much?

In my house, we don’t have a communication problem. Like most houses with busy people we don’t communicate. And that’s no problem.

Mr. FullCup is our church’s Christian Ed. Director for the children. He is over all things pertaining to children between the ages of birth and 6th grade.  I can’t begin to tell you the number of times people have come to me and asked some mind-boggling question like “Does Mr.FullCup still  need toothpicks for God Squad?” I have to look at them dumbly because I have no earthly idea he needed them or if he still does. This is usually followed up with an equally mind blowing question, “what does he need them for?” I have to admit my ignorance and beg forgiveness because I have no earthly idea what they are talking about.

It seems they think we talk.

Last night Mr. FullCup came home with a bottle of water which is unusual. Not that he came home but that he had a bottle of water with him. He doesn’t spend money on himself at all. I asked if he had spend money because it was so out-of-the-ordinary. He said no someone had bought it for him.

“Why?”

“Because I was at the hospital.”

Shocked look, “Why??????”

“I was visiting Dan.”

Now Dan is our pastor who is about my age and Mr. FullCup was supposed to meet with him yesterday afternoon but Dan called and cancelled the meeting…or so said Mr. FullCup. I assumed it was because Dan was busy or maybe he just had no desire to spend Valentine’s afternoon with another man. I can’t say I blame him.  For whatever reason though the meeting was cancelled.

And now back to my story.

“Why?”

“Because he’s probably going home today. They are weaning him off life support. …”

My mind immediately goes to his wife and his Chinese exchange student and his being surely shipped back to China and all the ramifications of that.  And how will she handle raising twin 10 year old boys and a 4 year old girl alone. Will she move to be closer to her family? Was Dan in a serious accident? What kind? Was he horribly maimed? And why take him off life support in one day?

Then I come to my senses and ask “Dan who?”

Not that Dan. That Dan is still living well. He probably has no idea he was at death’s door and I had him buried and his wife moved.

Ever happen to you?

Older than I thought.

Image via Wikipedia

Last night Catherin noticed Mr. FullCup’s white hair and commented on it. “You’re hair is white on your head and here” as she rubbed her top lip. I asked her if she knew what that meant and she assured me she did.

“Zat means you are old!”

We found out her American parents are both older than her Chinese parents. She asked how old we were and the conversation went to other things. Until she looked at me and said,

“YOU’RE 72??!!!”

Not quite, I have a couple of years before I get there but she’s close.

The past two days I have felt a cold coming on and honestly, I wish it would either come or leave. I’m tired of feeling like I’m coming down with something one minute and then next think I’m crazy because I feel fine. Maybe it is because last week on Wednesday I consumed no fewer than 5000mgs of Vitamin C.  So obviously I have confused my poor body into thinking it should be sick/no, it shouldn’t be sick.

This morning I awoke the sound of snow pelting the skylight. The girls and I needed to run today as we are a week behind, last week was just too crazy, topsy-turvy to run or even desire to run. Yesterday I felt a cold coming on (see above paragraph if you’re like me and have already forgotten it). Snow was not in my plans at all.

Neither were the crazy loony drivers this morning. Oh my word. A car runs a stop sign right in front of someone and somehow managed to not get hit. A car pulls onto a busy street going the wrong direction and doesn’t get smacked. I wanted to smack the driver.

I would love to stay snug at home (remind me to tell you something Beanie said yesterday) all day. But alas, I will have to venture out again. We have a meeting for host families today after school and then the girls have piano lessons.

Anyone have any ideas for supper? I have two pounds of hamburger set out and I’m pretty clueless.

Week One

We have just completed week one of our hosting a Foreign Exchange student from China. To say it has been an adventure might just possibly be the biggest understatement of the new century. Yes, I am going back 12 years and saying this is bigger than all the previous understatements.

Our journey began in late November when we heard about the need for host families. I have never had any desire to host an exchange student so it took me completely by surprise to hear in my head, “I want you to do that.” A day or so later, or it could have been that very day, the girls started talking about it and really wanted to do it. I distinctly remember telling them not to get their hopes up because chances are “Daddy will say no.”

They talked with him and he promised to pray about it. I prayed about it. The girls prayed about it. And Russ brought back the verdict.

“I have no reason to say no.”

We contacted the Christian school and let them know we were  interested in pursuing the possibility. We filled out an application and had the interview.

We passed. And we were selected. At times I wonder if it was simply a matter of they had enough families express interest as they had children who needed homes.

Our student is  named Catherin. (Yingyuan in China) She is 11 years old and in the 6th grade. Many of you know I myself  have an 11 year old sixth grader.  Catherin is a couple of months younger than our oldest.

We were assured a few things by those in China about the students. We were assured they were proficient in English.

We picked Catherin up at the Christian School last Saturday at about 3:45 and the adventure began in earnest.

On the way home Catherin had a bloody nose that lasted forever…in my mind. Those that know me well know I was completely useless. Mr. FullCup took over and admitted to me later he was having a little trouble himself.  The next morning at church she had another one.

I am so very thankful that people in my church have no qualms about stepping in and fixing things. Even bloody noses.

Catherin was at school bright and early Monday morning. We found her classroom and met her teacher. (The same teacher our 11 year old will have in April when she attends school for Achievement tests) When she was settled in, we left.

And I thought our day would be normal. Hah! It was normal in that it was again just the three of us at home working on laundry and school. But the threat of 3:30 loomed large over our heads.

We had a friend’s birthday party Monday night and Catherin got to experience an American birthday and bowling. She told us in China on their birthday they get cake and that is how they celebrate. No gifts, no parties no real fanfare.

I might have failed to mention that all the students that came were decidedly not proficient in English.  I would say 95% of what we say, Catherin does not understand.  How she is making it through school speaking and hearing only English is beyond me.

Tuesday was a little better. A little smoother.  Tuesday afternoon Elizabeth told me she liked having another “sister” because it meant she was never alone in her room, but she would really like for it to be just the four of us again.

Wednesday Catherin was sick. For those who know me well, know I don’t handle sickness well at all. We had one of the Chinese sponsors (Audrey) come and check on Catherin to see how she was and what was wrong. I learned in China when children are sick they still go to school. The teachers are very strict and critical of students who are not in school and the parents want their children in school. So different from the way it is in America.

Wednesday I spent the day pretty much falling apart. For those who don’t know me, I don’t cry easy.  When Mr. FullCup got home I sobbed how unhappy I was. How much I wanted to be just done. Some of it was the stress of the day and some of it was the stress of the whole thing.

I was informed at least twice on Wednesday that Catherin would be in school on Thursday. So Thursday dawned with Mr. FullCup taking her to school on his way to work. He took her an hour early so she could skype her mom.

Friday was yesterday. Catherin volunteered at supper what she had for lunch. That is a first.

Catherin has no qualms at telling the girls rather gruffly, harshly even, “No” when they do something that is not up to her standards. She hovers over Elizabeth when she is practicing the piano and barks, “NO!” when it is not perfect. We have had to tell her “This is Elizabeth’s time to practice” and Catherin will go to another room. I think she doesn’t see Ariana as a peer but more of an almost adult. She has more respect for Ariana and won’t be as gruff. Poor Elizabeth.

Catherin is here until the middle of May. It seems a long time…eternally far away.