I am not like most women. Shoot I’m not like almost everyone and really the world should be very thankful. Or maybe not. They should be thankful there is only one of me, but might not be thankful that I am not like anyone else.
It’s a good/bad whichever way you look at it so take your pick.
I am not real hip on shopping most of the time. If I find myself with some extra money, I might want to go and if I really need something I’ll go. I’ve been known to tag along with friends and that is always a good time. But left to my own devices anymore I’ll just stay home and let the money rot.
Dave Ramsey did that to me. Chances are if I have extra money (and really is money ever “extra”? Yah, I didn’t think so) I am so afraid something will come up that I am in dire need of, like food, and I’ll not have it. So I don’t spend money.
I am currently in need, but not desperate, for some blue jeans that actually fit me. It isn’t that my jeans are falling off, at least not yet. But there is plenty of wiggle room. I just can’t stand the thought of spending money on blue jeans. It scares me silly.
Today I went shopping though. Exciting stuff. My girlies each bought themselves a pair of shoes. Now before you get all upset and tell me it is my job as their Momma to buy them shoes, know that I know that. However, neither one needed a new pair of shoes. They both just wanted a new pair and since they have their own money, and the shoes were on clearance they purchased them. And there ain’t nuttin’ wrong with that.
The most exciting thing I bought today at Target? Toilet Paper. Yes, my life has stooped to making incredibly exciting purchases like that, paper towels, dish soap and milk. I lead an exotic, exciting life. After we were finished at Target we headed over to Safeway for some fruit. Again, my life is one giant excitement while shopping.
While at Safeway, (which for those who aren’t aware, Safeway is a grocery store chain through the mid-section of the country) I was searching for Li’l Juan burritos for the girls to have for lunch and in my desperate search I was walking backwards and pulling the cart. Which, I have to say, is not easy. The cart just doesn’t steer well when you use it that.
As I was walking backwards pulling the cart a nice gentlemanly sort of gentleman said, “Excuse me ma’am. But you’re supposed to push the cart. Like this…” and he demonstrated. I giggled and said, “Oh? That’s the way to use it?”
“Yes, they designed them to work this way.”
“Oh! Thanks! I had no idea.” (Please don’t leave the nice man any rude-ish comments…he was teasing.)
That conversation made me think of how often we tell our Designer how things should work. Of course we want things to work the way we think they should, the way we think they were designed to work.
But it’s always a lot harder. Things don’t steer well when they are being used in a way they weren’t designed to work.
The verse in Isaiah 45, came to mind, “Doom to the one who argues with the Potter, as if He were just another clay pot! Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles.’” (verse 9) And this one, Isaiah 29:16, “You have everything backward! Should the potter be thought of as clay? Should what is made say of it’s maker, ‘”He didn’t make me.’? Should what is shaped say of the one who shaped it, ‘He doesn’t understand’?”
The obvious answer to these rhetorical questions is a resounding No.
So why do we think we know more than our Designer? If we all know that grocery buggies are designed to be pushed, while you walk forward and not pulled while we walk backward, why do we think we can change God’s designs into something else?
I believe skinny jeans should not be worn by those who …well who aren’t. (Skinny, not not living because if you just aren’t..you aren’t aren’t.) I also think stretch jeans are of the devil.
Now I have recently…well no, not really recently over the past 9-10 months…lost 25ish pounds. I’m still wearing the same size jeans. For the most part it’s because shopping for jeans scares the beejeebers out of me. Seriously. Have you tried it? The last time I wanted to go jean shopping I was at JC Penney’s. I tried on one pair of Levi’s and one pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Both were on a phenomenal sale. Both fit splendidly. So since it was a great sale and because Dave Ramsey was not yet in my vocabulary, I bought two pair of each.
Now each pair of jeans was exactly like the other. Exactly. Brand. Size. Price. Store. Day. You name it, they were identical. (Except the GV jeans…one was purple and the other green but otherwise….) I get home and was amazed to discover that all jeans are not created equal. Oh no no no. I though they were. I thought Levi’s were Levi’s were Levi’s.
I was crazy enough to think if I bought identical pairs of jeans at the same store at the same time they would be…I dunno…the same. Nope. One pair..of course the pair I tried on…fit great. The other pair about killed it. I could get them on..with much gyrating of hips and thinking thinks any sane person wouldn’t think, and I could fasten them but it wasn’t all that attractive.
Now I’ve lost 25 pounds and well I’m still wearing the same jeans. Why? Because I hate jeans shopping.
I also hate stretchy jeans. Why do manufacturers think women need “stretch” in their jeans? Technically my jeans are 2 sizes too big..or should be. But because they’re stretch they still fit. And if I dry my two-sizes too big jeans in the dryer, my thighs die a slow painful death.
Now Mr. FullCup says he doesn’t think my jeans are tight in the thigh. I tell him of course they aren’t, I cut off my thighs and left them in the bathroom.
Which is another thing…have you ever tried catching a greased pig? I haven’t but I can imagine it is about like pulling on stretchy jeans when you’ve just applied lotion to your lower appendages. I have been known to look for a hidden “candid camera” in my bathroom thinking it has to be some sick joke. I contort my body in all kinds of ways and positions it was never meant to be in just getting dressed in the winter. It is insane. I am almost sure I lose a pound every time I put them on after applying lotion.
Did women sign off on this as a good idea? Because I certainly don’t remember getting the memo.
And another thing..while I’m ranting and raving like the crazed lunatic woman I am, a bloggy friend also has lost 25 pounds. And she went from a double digit size to a size 8. Me? Nada.
Well I can’t quite say that. On Friday we were shopping and Mr. FullCup again decided I needed jeans…and I decided right then I needed medication more..just to get through the jeans shopping. I tried on one pair of jeans in a size 2 sizes smaller than I currently wear and they were a bit baggy in the waist. They were the stretchy sort and the thigh..ugh..next time just get me the spray paint. Mr. FullCup said they were wonderful. I left them.
Now here’s the interesting part, I have clothes that size at home. I do. I can wear them but it’s not overly comfortable. Maybe I’m just used to wearing clothes that are too big?
Now that might be something. Or maybe I’m just so afraid of shopping for jeans I’d really rather wear my jeans that are 2 sizes too big.