My June Cleaver-Ness

I wrote a few days ago about being June Cleaver. I wrote about how I was going to start bucking the norms of society. The norms that say I have to spend all my time cleaning my house and my body. The norms that say the professionals of HGTV is the standard for not only decorating but cleanliness for me. I am most definitely not a professional home decorator. Not even close. I know what I like and what my family likes and that is how we decorate.

The norms also that say I have to be able to cook and entertain on the same scale as Bobby Flay and Rachael Ray, Paula Dean and the Neelys. Yeah like that would ever happen. I just can’t cook like that. I can’t even try.

When I got married almost 17 years ago, I could make macaroni and cheese as long as it came in the blue box.  Canned veggies were really beyond my cooking ability. I have come a long way since then.

Last year (2010) for our church’s staff Christmas party I used my Julia Child cookbook and made French food. It was delectable. So very tasty.

I cooked for days and days and days. By the time the party rolled around I was too exhausted to enjoy it. I did wow every one, and really how could I not? While the wow factor was definitely my desire, it backfired in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

This year I made it much more simple and enjoyed myself. Instead of French food, we had roast, potatoes, veggies and I asked others to bring a salad or dessert. We all had a lovely time.

I am known far and wide for my distinct ability to completely digress….

I thought I might write a quick run-down of my cleaning week, you know a “what will be done on what day”. For my benefit as much as yours.

Monday. Monday has long been laundry day at my house. I don’t know how it got started but it is. I probably wanted to start the week off with clean clothes. So the logical choice for laundry day would be Saturday. But Saturdays at my house usually don’t happen. I mean we have Saturdays but they aren’t free days, rarely are they spent at home. We can say on Thursday or even Friday, “We have blessedly nothing to do this weekend!” and find ourselves busier than ever.  Hence, Monday is laundry day.  I know for some of you, having just one day set aside for laundry is laughable and seems downright impossible because of your family size. You might be thinking, “Easy for her to say. She only has 4 people in her family. I have more people therefore more laundry.” While that might be true, it doesn’t have to be. I know more people = more laundry naturally. But who says your clothes are dirty after one day? For those of you with infants, how dirty are their clothes after one day really? How dirty does a baby get their clothes sleeping? Now, granted if they explode the diaper, yeah that’s dirty. Ditto for spit ups. But really? Without those, why do we think their clothes are dirty?

Tuesday. Tuesday would be a general clean up day. The day to make sure the house is generally picked up. This would be the day I sweep, mop, vacuum the floors.

Wednesday. Wednesday is a No Cleaning day at my house. I have Bible study in the mornings and we have AWANA in the evening. Which leaves the afternoon. At my house afternoons are sacred. The girls have quiet time and I have time to relax some. I usually end up contemplating what we’re having for supper. I might work on some craft project. Or I might just sit on my hind quarters and do nothing more strenuous  than flipping through channels.

Thursday. Thursday is another general clean up day. And after a do-nothing Wednesday I have my work cut out for me. Now before I started this whole “I’m bucking the norms of society” campaign, I would also do a load or two of laundry, because the basket would be full and overflowing. Because we would wear our clothes for one day and declare them dirty. Or even wear them for part of a day and they were dirty. Not anymore.

Friday. Friday is well Friday.  Another day to to general clean up, with a view to looking forward to the relaxing weekend I’m hoping to get.  Again, I might sweep, mop, vacuum the floors. I might dust/polish the furniture.

You might notice I didn’t mention things like the bathroom. That is because I am a delegator’s delegator. It is my children’s job every day to make sure the bathroom is clean. Monday – Thursday they take turns using a disinfecting (but not antibacterial) wipe (just typed “wife” ) on every surface. On Friday my 11-year old using baking soda to scour the sink, tub and toilet.

I also didn’t mention the kitchen. My kitchen is cleaned every day. Not scoured but cleaned. The counters are washed off, often with a vinegar water solution, after every meal. The dishes are done every day, and often a few times a day.  I scour the sink once a week, but not on any particular day.

I am definitely not Martha Stewart. I have no desire to be, but I do enjoy reading her book, The Homekeeping Handbook. Mr. FullCup gave it to me a few years ago for Christmas. I love reading it because I can see the most efficient way to get things done so I can have time for myself.  For example, I read last night about film on glasses after washing them in the dishwasher.  I have been rather surprised to see just how little she suggests doing every day. If you don’t have this book, I highly recommend it. It is a little pricey, definitely the most expensive book I’ve ever purchased, but well worth it. If money is an object (and really when isn’t it?) check your library. I checked it out  couple of times before we purchased it.

June Cleaver…I am thou

June Cleaver has long been held as the standard for womanly perfection. She cooked, she cleaned, she played bridge and she did it all with a smile, pearls, heels and a cute apron. She entertained and dealt with the children. She always knew the right thing to say and she always said the right thing at the right time.

But then again she had script writers who knew just the perfect thing to say and do and when the perfect time to say and do the perfect thing really was.

I am not quite so blessed. And really I’m not jealous. It would be easier to go through life with script writers telling me exactly what to say and when to say it; but I tend to balk when anyone tries to tell me exactly what to say and when to say it.

I’ve often heard “I just can’t compete with June Cleaver” as if we had to. I know she was the paragon of the virtuous housewife of the 1950s. I am not sure just who set her as the standard or how she arrived at that level but honestly, even June Cleaver can’t compete with June Cleaver today.

You see, June might have been a wonderful cook but she didn’t have Food Network or the Cooking Channel, much less her own show on those networks.

When June made her Easter/Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners she put the main dish in the oven and left it alone. There wasn’t an aisle full of magazines telling her how to get her ham or turkey done to perfection with just the perfect amount of golden brown skin and juicy meat that would melt in your mouth.

While her table was beautifully set, the napkins weren’t folded like origami flamingos. She probably couldn’t have done it anyway. What with taking care of Wally and the Beav, much less Ward.

I am almost positive June makes Martha Stewart cringe. I mean there is simple and there is Martha’s idea of simple.

Simple really is, I suppose, rather objective. What I might think of as “simple” someone else might think is backwoods and backwards. While their idea of “simple” to me could be simply elegant.

What I like about June is she didn’t, as my family was fond of saying, “put on airs”. She didn’t think she had to be the “hostess with the mostest”.

Her house was clean but it wasn’t cleaned with chemicals. Her floors were clean, either by vacuuming or sweeping/mopping but her vacuum wasn’t sold to her because it “got all the ground in dirt up”.  I doubt she spent hours a day cleaning her house.

Shoot, she probably didn’t shower or do laundry every day either. I know you’re thinking “why that dirty smelly woman!” But think about it.

Why are Americans so driven to have everything cleaner than clean? We have aisle after aisle in any grocery store or Target and Wal-Mart filled with cleaning supplies. Each one promising to make your house not only look clean but be cleaner than the cleaner right next to it could possibly make it.

We have automatic dishwashers, (in June’s time they were called children, I’m almost sure of that), washing machines, clothes dryers and microwave ovens. And the American woman still spends the majority of her time cleaning. Why is that?

Why can’t we just say “enough is more than enough” and go back to a simpler time? Back when maybe you didn’t have as many clothes and you wore the ones you had more than once before tossing it in the laundry?  What if we went back to a time when we realized our bodies don’t necessarily need to be scoured every day and neither does our hair.

Speaking of bodies, why does everything we use to cleanse the dirt and grime from our bodies (and really how many of us truly have dirt and grime on our bodies that are showered everyday?) have to be “antibacterial“?  The bodies first line of defense is our skin.  We have good bacteria whose sole job is to fight off bad bacteria we might come in contact with.  Using antibacterial hand sanitizers don’t help us prevent getting sick, they encourage the sickness. You see when we use antibacterial soaps we rid our skin of all bacteria, good and bad. Without the good bacteria, the bad bacteria is allowed to have a party and invite all kinds of friends.

I do see a time and place though for using antibacterial, and we do use it in our house. But incredibly sparingly. We don’t use it for instance after using a public restroom. Where is the brains in that? True you have no idea if the person exiting the room before you washed their hands or not, so we pop out the antibacterial sanitizer and then go touch things a million fifty other people touched . We open ourselves up to more germs than we could get from the door knob of a bathroom. (and incidentally the most germ infested area in any public restroom is NOT the door knob or toilet. It’s the sink. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wash up.)

When I think about June Cleaver, I realize she was a woman just like I am. She had her hopes and dreams, she loved her man and her family. Just like me. She strove to provide a happy home for those and be a welcoming hostess who set her guests at ease, not by wowing them with her great prowess in the kitchen or her killer decorating style. But by embracing them and caring about their thoughts.

She knew the necessity of having time for herself and being there for her family and friends. She knew balance. The balance that says “I’d rather have you be comfortable here than compete with an impossible standard that would require professionals.”

I don’t have a decorating show on HGTV, and I don’t have a cooking show on any of the plethora of cooking channels. I will never compete on Top Chef. I won’t be seen on Design Star. I am not Rachael Ray, nor Martha Stewart. I certainly am no Ty Pennington.

And really I don’t want to be. I appreciate what I can learn from each one, but really I can’t compete with them and I am not even going to try. Not because I have no hope of winning, but because I am not a professional.

But I do know what I like and what my family likes. My family likes the fact that I don’t sweep my floor every day. I don’t vacuum 7 days a week. I don’t wash walls every month, or sweep for cobwebs. Shoot I barely sweep the cobwebs when I see them.

I have more important things to do. Things like spending time with my family relaxing, playing games, reading or watching football.  Things like taking a walk and marveling at God’s creation. Things like not stressing about my house not being perfect enough for entertaining friends.

So if you should desire to come visit me, the door is always open. You might need to watch out for cobwebs and if they bother you I’ll show you where the broom is kept so you can take care of them.   If you should desire, however to see my house, you should probably make an appointment and I’ll have the floors swept and mopped, I’ll have vacuumed and the bathroom will be spotless, you’ll see your reflection in the kitchen sink. My house will smell like chemical cleaners to prove I’ve been a busy beaver for your visit.

I’ll be an exhausted, stressed out grump too.

I believe forewarned is forearmed.

 

12 Pearls of Christmas

Welcome to the 3rd Annual Pearl Girls™ 12 Pearls of
Christmas blogging series!

We’ve gathered several of today’s most beloved authors to share their Christmas “Pearls of Wisdom“! Please follow along beginning tomorrow (Wednesday the 14th) through Christmas day as Tricia Goyer, Suzanne Woods Fisher, Rachel Hauck, Sandy Ralya, Sibella Giorello, Susan May Warren and more, share their heartfelt stories of how God has touched their life during this most wonderful time of the year.

 

If you’d like to share the 12 Pearls of Christmas with your blog readers too, just email Christen and she’ll send you the series.

 

ANDof course there is a giveaway! Beginning tomorrow you and all your friends can enter to win a PEARL NECKLACE and EARRINGS valued at $450! The winner will be announced on New Year‘s Day! Pearls – a tangible reminder of God’s grace to us all.

 

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Just a quick note before the series begins on the 14th …

 

As I write this, I imagine that we are sitting at my kitchen table and chatting over a cup of coffee while familiar Christmas carols celebrate the Season. My twelve year old Chihuahua, Pongo, barks for a pinch of pound cake while my Shih Tzu, Lilly, patiently sits by the chair and waits for a crumb to fall.

 

My name is not Martha Stewart, and I will never receive a neighborhood beautification award. Just look at my front stoop. Yes, my never-had-time-to-carve-the-pumpkin-that-now-suffers-from-frostbite slouches next to the front door which is decorated with a Christmas wreath. I plan to roll this large orange ornament to the garbage pile tomorrow. For now, however, I will pretend that my front stoop is a contemplative modern art exhibit capturing the essence of contrast.

 

Actually, I love the concept of juxtaposition – placing things together that don’t seem to belong together, yet somehow ultimately make sense being paired. A personal example for me this season is the phrase: “comfort and joy.” Having just completed my manuscript for New Hope Publishers about the aftermath of grief, I fully understand the contrast of those two words. How can comfort bring joy? How can one find joy in loss?

 

Perhaps, dear reader, you have experienced loss this year – loss of a loved one, loss of friendship, loss of health,  loss of financial security, loss of trust, loss of love, or loss of direction. Even with the best intent, words of encouragement shared by others can somehow seem insufficient to address an inconsolable loss.  A spoken word cannot fully restore joy to a broken heart; however the Word can. And that’s the bottom line message of Christmas! God gave us the most amazing gift: His Son –  the Word of God, the Holy Comforter.

 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have everlasting life.” (John 3:16).

 

You are not alone this Christmas, dear friend. Juxtaposed to the unexpected grit in life is the gift of God’s grace wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. This year I purposely placed a pearl in the Nativity scene as a metaphoric reminder. When we place our grit into the hands of the Lord, His grace transforms our pain into a pearl.

 

 “Joy to the world!”  

 

Thank you so very much for sharing the JOY of the Season with us this year.

 

God Bless,

Margaret

@mcsweeny

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Margaret McSweeney lives with her husband, David and two teenage daughters in the Chicago suburbs. She is the founder and director of Pearl Girls. For more information please visit www.pearlgirls.info. Margaret is fast at work on several fiction manuscripts. Her book Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace was written to help fund the Pearl Girl Charities. She is also the host of weekly radio show, Kitchen Chat. Connect with Margaret on Facebook or Twitter.

Need Ideas

My house is not all that big or all that small really. I have about 1300 sq. ft on the main living area and a partial unfinished basement.  I have carpet in the bedrooms (3), bathroom (1) and hall the rest is hardwood/laminate.

What I need help with is cleaning.  It isn’t that my house is a mess, it’s more I think I’m lazy. If I knuckle down and get to it I can clean the whole thing in a day. If I take my time, two days. Which leaves me a  whole bunch of days with no work to be done.

What do people with a cleaning service do with their time?

My girls have daily chores, making their beds, cleaning their rooms, cleaning the bathroom, clearing the table/washing dishes.  Generally I do laundry (the girls put it away), cook, sweep, mop, vacuum, polish the furniture and generally just pick up. I wash the windows when I can no longer see out of them.

My house most of the time looks presentable but I’m a little afraid for anyone to look too closely. I have heard of MOTH (Managers Of Their Homes) and while I think it is a great idea, I think it is a great idea for someone else. I am not detail minded enough to make it fly at my house.   I found this cleaning checklist from Martha Stewart and while it is great it would not take me long to go through. The simple fact that I don’t have a library or home office and it is primarily what I do now.

So how do you keep busy? What great chores am I missing?

Books Fall Open, I fall In

 

These are a few of my favorite things.

I’d like to thank Martha Stewart for her book, HomeKeeping Handbook, The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home. Between the covers of this book is a treasure trove of everything you could ever possibly want or need to know about caring for your home. She even teaches you how to wash dishes. I know over the years Martha Stewart has gotten a bad rap. I know she is very perfectionistic, and is a type-A to the extreme. But the information she offers is second to none.

I’d like to thank Irma Rombauer for putting together The Joy of Cooking. I never in a million thought I would have this cookbook or that I would have it as my go-to cookbook!  She even shows you how to cut up a chicken.

I’d like to thank Julia Child for seeing this book through to completion.  I have made several recipes from this book, some of them scare me to death. But I have found this to be a treasure trove!

But mostly, I’d like to thank God for this book!