I thought I was a funny has-been, I was all washed up. No funny left in me. Nothing funny happened to me.
I was wrong. Not just merely mistaken, I was full-blown wrong.
Goober is in a local theater group’s production of Seussical. It’s a cute musical that is all, get this, Dr. Seuss books. The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who, The Grinch, etc. It is really great and she loves it. And as an added bonus, the director loves Goober.
Tonight we were at rehearsal because that’s what we do these days. I needed something to do, so I grabbed a piece of gum. I know I know. I left my books at home, my laptop at home, everything I could possibly need was at home. I made due with a piece of gum.
Until it lost it’s flavor entirely. I walked over to throw it away, now the trash can was in front of a bank of windows to an inner hallway. Normally I’m a spitter. I spit my gum out. Today though I thought I’d be dignified, I’d be an adult. And I gently took the gum out of my mouth and threw it away.
It stuck to my finger.
I used my other hand to get it off my finger. It stuck to that too. So I shook my hand around to attempt to dislodge it.
I did. It came off my finger.
And stuck to the window.
It could only happen to me.
I removed it from the window and again attempted to throw it away. It stuck to my finger again. I about gave up. But no, I had a brilliant stroke of brillancy and put it on the garbage bag. And then thought of all the gazillion and fifty germs I just put my finger on.