A little background.
I am going through Anointed, Transformed and Redeemed. A Bible study that uses Priscilla Shirer (If only she would get off my toes for a pair of minutes!), Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. Each speaker is given two weeks of homework and two weeks of video lessons. I have worked my way through Priscilla’s and I am working on week one of homework with Beth. Kay is yet to hit me. I think maybe I should duck.
Beth has for her key passage in her first video session and first week of homework, 2 Samuel 7. In this passage, King David wants to build God a house and God says instead that He will build David’s house and establish his throne forever. Now we know this is accomplished through Jesus.
In verse 18 David sits back on his heels and says, “Who am I? And What is my family that YOU have brought us this far??” (my paraphrase based on the New International Version) We are supposed to ponder the “this far” God has led us.
To be honest, I have struggled with that. Not that I have lived a life of ease by any means, but I’ve struggled because at times I don’t see God leading me. To be completely honest, at times I’m not sure I really like where He seems to have led me thus far.
Yesterday in church we sang “I surrender all.” I don’t normally sing that hymn because quite frankly it isn’t true. How can I sing “I surrender all” while telling God, “You better not even think about touching that!!! Or that! Or nope, not that either.” But I realized I did want to surrender all. I contemplated what a life totally surrendered would look like, I counted the cost to see if I could. I came up short. I know I can’t. But I also know God can.
Last night I had trouble sleeping so I’m mulling over a surrendered life, I’m praying again through the verses I had to in the day’s Bible study lesson I had completed. I found myself praying that I would be a living sacrifice. I heard myself whisper the words in a dark world, “I present myself to You, Lord, as a living sacrifice. I am willing to move to the next “this far” part of my life. I am willing to step forward. I don’t want to and I can’t stay here.”
It was then I had my answer to the “this far God has brought me….” question. He brought me to being alive at 40 years 6 months and 15 days. I thought back on all the times and all the reasons I should not be here now. Yet I am I kept here alive because of Him.
I had a time of sweet thanking God for my many blessings after that revelation. WOW!
Which brings me to my day.
- I woke up too late to run.
- I overfilled my one cup of caffeinated coffee.
- I tried to take a picture but my photo card was not in my camera.
- I can’t find the cord to the camera so I can get the pictures off it’s internal memory.
- I almost lost it completely with my 10-year old and her math.
- I had to remind the girls again to pick up all their dirty clothes and inform them that dire consequences will befall them when next they don’t.
- Just as I was stepping into the shower I heard a “clunk” and there was almost no water coming out the shower head. I have that soaking now in vinegar to see if I can fix it. If not…guess I get to spend $$ to fix it.
- I thought bad thoughts about the previous owner of our house for their cheap fixes.
- I put my thumb through my shirt as I put it on. I’ve only worn this shirt two other times.
As I was washing my hair in the sink, trying not to think bad words because of my horrible morning, and trying desperately not to blame it all on Monday, God gently spoke to my heart.
I then thought of verses like Ephesians 6 that says after I’ve armed myself with the armor, I am to stand firm. I thought of the verse in Peter I am told to “Resist the devil and he must flee”. I found myself muttering “Resist. Stand firm”. I also found myself once more offering my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing in His sight.
I do have an enemy and apparently he loves to torment me on a Monday. I know that I am already a victor over him because my Jesus died on the cross assuring me victory.
And now that is something worth getting my praise on!