A huge number of years ago I wrote a poem extolling the virtues of wiping the calendar of all things February. Or at least skipping from February 13 to February 14. I saw no reason for celebrating Valentine’s Day. And I didn’t.
Until I meet Mr. Fullcup. Then you can rest assured I was all about celebrating the day. I suddenly started extolling the virtues of St. Valentine’s Day.
I’m fickle like that.
I’m not sure about your marriage but in my house, we have…disagreements. Feelings get hurt. Murderous thoughts are thought. We don’t mean to but when you’re living with an alien from who knows what planet it’s gets a little difficult. We’ve read books about love and marriage. We’ve read and understand Gary Smalley’s book, “The Five Love Languages”. But still it’s like we’re brain damaged or something. And we just might be.
I read Dr. Earl Henslin’s book This is your Brain In Love and I had several light bulb moments. I had no clue until reading this book that there are not only 5 love languages but there are also five love styles. They are:
- The Scattered Lover
- The Over-Focused Lover
- The Blue Mood Lover
- The Agitated Lover, and
- The Anxious Lover.
The Scattered Lover is, primarily those with ADD/ADHD. The Scattered Lover are those people who truly mean well but their head just isn’t always fully engaged. Dr. Henslin recommends some herbals to help the Scattered Lover be …well less scattered.
The Over Focused Lovers are those who jump to conclusions that are not true and when confronted with the truth, rigidly hold to the lie. They make themselves miserable as well as those around them.
The Blue Mood Lover are those who are depressed, or those who are constantly in a low mood. Nothing excites them. Nothing really makes them happy.
The Agitated Lovers are those who tend to have a short fuse.
The Anxious Lovers are those who suffer from nervousness, panic attacks and other maladies like those. They aren’t talking about occasionally being nervous, but those who’s lives are perpetually in a state of nervousness.
For all the different types, Dr. Henslin recommends herbals and/or therapy. He offers a test for each style so you can pinpoint which one you might be. You could start trying the herbals but you might still need therapy.
I found this fact interesting, your brain on/in love very closely resembles a brain on cocaine. I was afraid when I started this book that it was going to be too scientific, to brainy for me. But it wasn’t at all. Dr. Henslin does talk about the brain and science but it isn’t overwhelming, and it is on a very down-to-earth level.
If you are struggling in your marriage or any relationship, I highly recommend this book. Even if you aren’t struggling, I would still recommend it because it is just a good idea to read and learn more about how our bodies act and react in different situations. And learning more about how fearfully and wonderfully made we are is a good thing!
(I received a copy of this book for the purpose of review from Thomas Nelson publishers. I received no renumeration for my review.)