(Guest Blogger Today)
The mega-millions spent by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, and Katy Perry and Russell Brand, on their lavish and exotic weddings failed to guarantee a long and blissful union. But they are not alone. Recent statistics show a decline in couples getting married and staying married for more than a few months or years.
Can marriages survive in today’s culture? Long-wedded author, Poppy Smith, says “Yes.” Here are Smith’s tips for building a marriage that not only works, but thrives:
Readjust your expectations. You didn’t marry your clone. Naturally, your partner will view some things differently. Be willing to flex and accept their right to be themselves.
Appreciate your different strengths. Analyze your personalities, your backgrounds, and what’s important to each of you. Identify each other’s strengths and affirm what these add to your relationship.
Learn to communicate so you’re heard. Women tend to explain and expand. Men tend to edit. To be heard, communicate according to your spouse’s desired style, not yours.
Understand each other’s feelings about money. Does money signal fun? Symbolize success? Guarantee security? Or ensure power? Knowing what it means to both of you helps in settling money battles.
Practice a conflict resolution style that works for both. Clarify what the conflict is about. Listen to each other’s reasoning and feelings without interrupting. Then decide what best builds your relationship.
Recognize the emotional needs of your mate. Both men and women want to be valued, admired, respected, and listened to. Discover what makes your spouse feel loved and special, then find ways to meet that need.
Prioritize romance and sexual intimacy. Sex matters. It gives physical and emotional pleasure, strengthens love, and deepens commitment. Make time to play or be silly or sensuous in bed. It pays rich dividends.
Share your Dreams. What is it each of you longs to achieve? Are there some dreams you want to accomplish together? Be encouragers to each other and discuss steps you can take now toward your goals.
About the Book:
“What do you and your husband have in common?”
“We got married on the same day.”
Do you find yourself nodding in agreement with the answer to that question? You want your marriage to be happy and honoring to God, but you wonder how when your husband baffles and sometimes irritates you. You may even wonder if you made a terrible mistake.
Poppy Smith offers you hope in this upbeat, empathetic, and biblically grounded book. Why Can’t He Be More Like Me? will help you better understand areas of conflict in your marriage as you consider your different backgrounds, expectations, needs, and reactions on a variety of topics from communication styles to finances and sex.
Each chapter provides practical tools to help you learn to accept and enjoy your mate. The result will be a stronger, happier marriage as you grow to understand and even find delight in your differences.
“Poppy Smith cares about relationships! Her astute insights, garnered from time spent living in numerous locations around the globe, brings a wealth of advice packaged with her upbeat warmth and wisdom.”
—Pam Farrel, speaker and author of over 30 books, including best-selling Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti
“This book will help you love your husband even when you don’t understand him.”
—Leslie Vernick, counselor, coach, speaker, and author of How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
About Poppy Smith:
With her fun personality and passion for communicating life-changing truths, Poppy Smith inspires believers to thrive spiritually and personally. Poppy’s practical how-to messages (in print or in person) uses colorful examples from her own struggles to be more like Jesus. She encourages others to grow in every kind of situation—whether joyful or painful! Poppy is British, married to an American, and has lived in many countries. She brings an international flair seasoned with humorous honesty as she illustrates Bible truths. A former Bible Study Fellowship lecturer, Poppy’s teaching challenges women to look at their choices, attitudes and self-talk. As a result, God’s speaks, changing hearts, changing minds, and changing lives. Watch for Poppy’s upcoming book release, Why Can’t He Be More Like Me: 9 Secrets to Understanding Your Husband.