Pearl Girls Post 4

Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series – a week long
celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of
today’s best writer’s (Tricia Goyer, Sheila Walsh, Suzanne Woods Fisher, Bonnie St.John, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on
Mother’s Day.

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the
winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in
the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace
or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

What I
Am Not by Tricia Goyer

Becoming a mother is a complicated thing. Not only am I trying to negotiate a
relationship with my child, I am trying to negotiate a relationship with myself as
I attempt to determine how I mother, how I feel about mothering, how I want to
mother and how I wish I was mothered.

— Andrea J. Buchanan, in Mother Shock3

Sometimes the easiest way to discover who we are is to know who we are not.

We are not our children. We all know mothers who go overboard trying
to make themselves look good by making their children look great. I saw one woman
on the Oprah television show who had bought her preschool daughter more than
twelve pairs of black shoes just so the girl could have different styles to go with her
numerous outfits! Just as we -don’t get report cards for mothering, we also -don’t get
graded on our child’s looks or accomplishments. While you want your children to
do their best and succeed in life, your self-esteem -shouldn’t be wrapped up in your

Life as I See It:

My individuality will never end. There will be no one exactly like me, not even
my child. She will be like me in some ways, but not at all in others. I -wouldn’t have
it any other way.

— Desiree, Texas

We are not our mothers. I remember the first time I heard my mother’s
voice coming out of my mouth. The words “because I told you so .  .  .” escaped before
I had a chance to squelch them.

It’s not until we have kids that we truly understand our mothers — all their frets,
their nagging, and their worries.

It’s also then that we truly understand their love.

Since you are now a mother, it’s good to think back on how you were raised. If there
were traditions or habits that now seem wise and useful, incorporate them into your
parenting. You also have permission to sift out things you now know -weren’t good.
Just because you’re a product of your mother, that -doesn’t mean you have to turn
out just like her. Repeat after me, “I am not my mother.”

We are not like any other mother out there. Sometimes you may feel
like the world’s worst mother. After all, your friend never yells at her son —
and sometimes you do. Then again, your friend may feel bad because you have
a wonderful bedtime routine that includes stories and songs. In many cases, the
moms you feel inferior to only look like they have it together. All moms feel they –
don’t “measure up.” Instead of feeling unworthy, we should realize that everyone
has strengths and weaknesses. The key is where we place our focus.

The Bible says, “Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without .
.  . comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we -aren’t

(Romans 12:5 – 6, MESSAGE).

The problem with comparison is, we always measure our weaknesses
against the strengths of others

Instead, we need to thank God for our strengths. We can also ask God to help us
overcome our weaknesses — not because we want to compare ourselves, or look
good in someone else’s eyes, but because we want to be the best mom out there.

Tricia Goyer is a CBA best-selling author and the winner of two American
Christian Fiction Writers’ Book of the Year Awards (Night Song and Dawn of
a Thousand Nights). She co-wrote 3:16 Teen Edition with Max Lucado and
contributed to the Women of Faith Study Bible. Also a noted marriage and parenting
writer, she lives with her husband and children in Arkansas. You can find her
online at or at her weekly radio show, Living Inspired.

Exciting News – the latest Pearl Girls book, Mother of Pearl: Luminous Legacies
and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
(and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!


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