Lately, I’ve been pondering the changes to my own little personage over the past number of years. I’ve shed some habits, gained some new ones. I’ve forgotten many things, learned some new things. I’m finding a new comfort in my old skin.
It all started a few months ago. I had somehow along the path of adulthood lost contact with family members. Family members who don’t live too far away. Family members I used to see all the time, now it seemed years has passed without a conversation. When I say years, I don’t mean years….I mean YEARS. Like a decade.
I loaded the girls and our over night bags into the van, and we headed southwest of here to visit family. Family they only vaguely knew. Family I grew up seeing at least once a month
While we there I was chatting with my aunt, and she said something that surprised me. She said I was gutsy. At least I think that is the word she used. When I was 19, I was living on my own, had a ready-made career, and so I did not move from here when the rest of my family did.
It was nothing I had ever thought of before.
That conversation has often replayed in my mind in the weeks since. I’ve realized I do march to the beat of a different drummer.
And as I’m getting older, my beat keeps changing.
When I was a child, I loved nothing more than carrying purses. Now if I can grab my driver’s license and keys alone, I’m happy. I almost detest purses.
I was not a fan of yard work. Neither were my parents, so it was only sometimes I would have to do yard work. Usually when I got in trouble. Or my parents didn’t want to pull weeds. Now I am happiest in the summer when playing in the dirt and/or doing yard work. I dearly love to mow the grass.
I loved cloudy, cold days. LOVED them. Now I think, “ehh, who needs it?” My soul craves the sunshine, like a smoker craves nicotine. I need it. I can handle a day or two of clouds, but anymore than that and my attitude goes down the toilet, I get so sleepy. A crabby and sleepy Momma…is no one’s friend.
I love my 4″ heels. LOVED them. I wore them 6 out of 7 days. Now? Nah. Just give me a pair of comfy runnings shoes and I’m beyond happy.
I’m not sure exactly what is beyond happy…but that’s me.