The Mod{esty} Squad(esty}

Okay, so maybe Squad{esty} isn’t a word, but it is now. I just made it one.

I’m seeing a lot more blog posts being shared on various social media sites. Usually, they are either preceded with the sharer’s opinion either for or against, and are followed by comments of people who are either for or against the whole post.  Normally I just skip right over them, or if I happen to read it because it’s a slow day at my house I skip over the nasty comments, especially if I’m reading the actual blog post and not someone else posting about the blog post. I like to know what the original post said for myself.

The latest one I read, skimmed really, had to do with leggings. The poster, an adult woman, started with the disclaimer that she no longer would wear leggings because they caused men, like her husband, to be tempted to look longer than they should and think thoughts they shouldn’t. Therefore, leggings are bad.

One thing though the blogger failed to point out is simply what every middle-aged woman doesn’t know but every teen girl does:

Leggings AREN’T pants.

They aren’t! Leggings are simply thick footless tights. The blog author wrote that she would only be wearing leggings in her own home IF she could find shirts long enough to cover her rump from now on.

I’m sorry but what?

I don’t like it when I see teens running around with a cropped shirt and leggings. I want to tell them, “Honey, get a longer shirt or wear jeans because no one wants to see that.” I can’t imagine being an adult and dressing the same.

Anyway, this isn’t a post to tear apart the blogger. That isn’t my intent. Not at all.

I’ve been hit lately on almost all sides repeatedly with this truth,

What is in our heart comes out when life puts the squeeze on us.

When life is hard, when life is ugly what is already in our hearts explodes on all around us.

So when women refuse to dress in a way that brings unwanted attention (or maybe it is wanted) to their butt and boobs, it is merely a reflection of her heart. Modesty is out an external attribute. Modesty flows from the heart. Purity and modesty are heart issues and attitudes. It goes beyond the external.  And you can’t legislate that.

If only those women/girls who dressed immodestly were molested and raped, women in the middle east would not know the experience. If we could legislate modesty and purity then I, a girl who grew up in a very fundamental church with a strict dress code, would not have been molested for years. But guess what? With shirts no lower than 3 small fingers below the clavicle and a hemline no shorter than the middle of the knee did not spare this girl.

So men have a responsibility to own what is in their heart. When they look at a woman, regardless of how she is dressed, as an object to be owned, when they think thoughts that are lustful, that is a mirror showing what is already in their heart.

Women, we do have a responsibility to not intentionally dress in a way that *could* contribute to man’s thoughts. And men have a responsibility to covenant to keep a pure heart.

We are commanded in Scripture to spur one another on to love and good deeds. Men, if you’re thinking thoughts you shouldn’t toward a woman, how are you spurring her on to love and good deeds? Women, if you’re dressing in a way that is inappropriate how are you treating the men in your life with respect to spur him on to love and good deeds?

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3 thoughts on “The Mod{esty} Squad(esty}

  1. I’ve always said that even if we all wore Burkas there would be some men who would swear we were tempting them because they imagined we were, as Nick would say, nekkid underneath it.

    • That is true. Because what is in a man comes out from his heart. Not that women are absolved of all involvement because we are. But one can’t lay it all on women, because women who dress modestly are still raped.

  2. Meant to add, you’re right on the whole “leggings aren’t pants” and I would say 99% of all women agree with that one but yet some days it seems like 90% of the women are wearing them as pants.

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