Monday Monday

I need a do-over for today and it’s only 8:30. Here is some wisdom from this Monday.

If you happen to be in the shower with soap covering every square inch of your flesh, when your eye itches, it’s best that you not reach up and rub it with soapy fingers.

Just sayin’.

I’m sure you’ll thank me for that bit of smartness for today.

Moving right along.

If you should happen to have gotten an email from amazon.com that you need to change your password because they might or might not have found a list online with people’s usernames and passwords posted and your name and password might or might not have been on it; so you follow the directions (for once in your life, for the love of Pete) and tell them “I forgot my password”.

Which I should just like to say, I did not. I remember it completely. So I lied. See following directions can lead to sin. And sin, people, is bad, very very bad. Much worse than not following directions. But I digress.

When you tell the nice people at amazon.com you forgot your password they want you to either give them your email address or phone number. I’m not even sure I gave amazon my phone number and they sure as anything did not send me a birthday greeting text for my birthday on Saturday so I’m pretty sure I didn’t give it to them.

I digress again. I put in my email address. My email address that I have had for lo these many, many years now, my email address that has my name in it. Now my name is something I’ve had far longer than any silly old email address.

Email addresses come, email addresses go but my name is stuck fast.

You have no idea how surprised I was to see, after giving them my email address, that they claimed to have no knowledge of our relationship. Just like that. I was forgotten. They suggested I double check my phone number or email address. I did and it looked great to me.

So what email address did I use? Hmmmm…probably one I no longer have access too. You see there was a time when I thought oh say, every other week I needed a new email address for whatever purpose. I’ve slowly killed those off…err gotten rid of them.

That’s when I looked closer and realized I had misspelled my own name.

People, I misspelled my own name.

Now I know I lost an hour of sleep and I know my birthday was last Saturday. I know. But I misspelled my own freaking name!  I had hoped to hold off any dementia until I was at least 50 and I know I’m close but honey, I’m not ready for this yet.

In honor of all things misspelling my own name, I probably put some caffeine in my coffee this morning. It’s only half-caff but still, I firmly believe that forewarned is forearmed. So arm yourselves like men.

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