The Rebellious Martyr Living in Me.

This is real. This is raw. This is a prayer from the heart.

Jesus, there is a martyr living in me today. That bit of ugliness has risen it’s head and breathed it’s putrid breath in my face. And I embraced it as a long-lost friend. It didn’t come alone, it brought a friend with it–rebellion. They worked together with my full consent to derail my thoughts and crucify Your people in my thoughts and mind today. 

This was a sin, Jesus, and did not reflect Your Life in me, nor did it allow Your Spirit room to work. But instead it worked to silence Your Spirit that lives in the sons of obedience, this sin that lives in the hearts of those bent on disobedience and destruction. I allowed rebellion and the martyr to take your place and elevated myself above You.

Even now, Jesus, rebellion is rearing it’s ugly head in me. My self–my flesh–wants to keep me trapped here in disobedience and rebellion, making me their slave. They used to play nice and offer protection, but now they simply demand my service to them. They promise nothing but heartache and trouble if I don’t. 

But, Jesus, Your voice speaks to me the truth. That trouble and heartache are promised if I do give in to them for one more second. You have set me free–FREE–from their chains that used to keep me stuck here in this pit of hard. 

So, Jesus, let me choose to freely praise You and dance in Your Holy Fire the dance of the soul set free. Thank You, Jesus, for opening my eyes to the truth of those thoughts and sins, for making me see them as they truly are, and for telling me that isn’t who I am anymore. For reminding me that I am not my thoughts. I am not my sin. I am not my temptations. I am not my past reactions. 

I am Yours. Wholly. Completely. Fully. Drenched in Your Life, Drowning in Your great Grace.

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